Views from an expat: Dating in Malaysia for single guys

Last month, I entered the world of dating as an ex-pat. Even though I’ve had a girlfriend while being abroad before, this was my first time looking at dating abroad with long term considerations.

Dating in Malaysia is definitely different compared to Vancouver. I can only comment on dating local Malaysian Chinese, so anything outside this realm, I really can’t speak much of (thus when I say ‘girls’ in this post, I am speaking strictly about Malaysian Chinese girls). It goes without saying that dating in Malaysia will also be different from its other South East Asia neighbours.

For the single guy, there are a few major categories that are important for dating and relationships.

Ease of meeting girls: Moderate

It’s not necessarily hard to find single girls here. Along with Malaysia being more conservative and issues around safety, there are more trust issues when making friends with girls, especially meeting a complete stranger. The difficulty is similar to Vancouver but for different reasons.

Availability of single girls: High

Just by sheer luck, I am finding that there are lots of single girls around here. This is the main reason why it can be easier to date here. Much easier than Vancouver.

Ease of getting dates: Moderate

If you’re OK at chatting people up and can break initial barriers, I think you can get dates fairly easily. Western expats have an advantage in this area in my opinion. Much easier than Vancouver.

Ease of finding ‘the one’: Very Hard

For me, I think finding a long-term partner here is very hard. There are lots of quieter, homebody-type pretty girls here. If that is your type, you will find it easy to meet someone. Language can sometimes be an issue for me as well since Cantonese/Mandarin may be their stronger/preferred language. There are also factors like cultural and religious differences which can be other barriers to a relationship. Depending on what you are looking for, this will range from far easier than Vancouver to harder than Vancouver.

In one of my recent dates, we hung around the city of Putrajaya

On one of my recent dates,
we hung around the city of Putrajaya

There are some important things to note with dating in Malaysia/SE Asia. They are the following:

– Be aware of the more conservative ‘rules’ of the country. Things like PDA may be fine in your home country but not in all SEA countries

– Be aware of ladyboys. I don’t actually know why there are so many ladyboys/shemales in SEA but for some reason this is the place to hang out. And some of them can be really hot… Try not to get confused

– Be aware of girls that might be gold digging/using you. Use common sense, a sense of caution and always throw lots of tests in different situations to see if this person is for real. I have never experienced this but I’ve heard stories. Good thing I have no money eh?

– Be aware of prostitutes.  Adding to the point above, just be aware that some clubs/bars are more known for them and if you walk in clueless, you might be walking out with more than you bargained for. Constant vigilance!

Happy dating!



  1. Isn’t the “Ease of finding ‘the one’” very hard in all cases? 😛
    but HAHA on the warning on ladyboys!

  2. Pingback: March in review | the unsuccessful student

  3. Dating locals n foreigner i believed are the same everywhere except for difference in culture. As for Chinese dialects, I can’t comment. I m Chinese but my main language amongst family n friends are English ~ I don’t read Chinese .

    Openness in a lady is dependent on her upbringing, character & attitude. I tend to agreed that Europeans n Americans are more opened in the area of intimacy but that doesn’t restrict SOME Asian gals.

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