My first post on happiness explored a few of the general aspects of Happiness. This second post explores probably one of the most talked about emotion associated with happiness: love.
Love in itself seems like a fairly simple things. Throw in all the other ingredients of life and it seems to become a lot more complicated.
Love appears to be both an internal and external form of happiness. The internal portion of love would probably refer to how you feel about yourself and how you translate that into feelings towards others. The better your internal state for love, the easier you may find it is to love others.
On the flip side, external love would be the love that others give you. When you lose someone you love, you lose “external love”. The intensity of the emotion means that unlike other factors of happiness, I would say it is nearly impossible not to be affected by changes. If you were to lose someone you love, could you still be just as happy? Maybe eventually, but certainly not immediately.
Love is probably one of the most fulfilling feelings that people seek. Unmatched by any other emotion, you are giving a piece of yourself at the highest level in a truly unique way.
Sometimes you hear people saying that they are afraid of dying alone or that they’ll never find love. Why is it so important for people to find love? The truth is, we can find love in other ways rather than a lifelong companion. Love towards friends; love towards family. The main issue I think is that as you grow older, your older friendships often weaken. Face it, you can’t spend time as freely with your friends because a lot of them will have found their “lifelong companion”. Just look what often happens when people get boyfriends/girlfriends.
At the end of the day, we want companionship, in one way or another. It’s a human need. If we are seeking companionship, why not seek it at the highest level?
So do you need love to be happy? Yes and no. I think deep down, we all want the feelings that long-term companionship bring. Is it the only way? No. But having felt both ends of the spectrum and having been happily single at times, it’s still something I want in my life. Knowing that time is always finite, it’s an area I don’t want to settle in yet it’s an area that you have the most chance of settling in.
While it’s not something to be forced, it still requires focus just like any other part of your life. Being a better you, being happy with your life and putting yourself in situations to meet new people are all important.
What’s interesting about love is that we don’t always end up with the people we love the most. My friend once put it quite well, “we don’t necessarily marry the person we love the most, we marry the person we think we have long-term compatibility with.”
How do you know you love the person? I think love is about putting the other person ahead of your own needs. It’s about their well-being and happiness. It’s about knowing that above all price, you will be there for them, through good and bad, and you will love them even as they change.
If you are able to find love in your life, then I think you will realize the simple fact… that love is happiness.